


The fleeting memory of dawn

by mymusicalbox



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: But I was inspired, M/M, damn did i cry with that, i had the idea after reading Garden of Light, no manga spoilers tho so anime only fans are safe, photo fic, this is rushed i wrote it in an hour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 06:42:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16057655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mymusicalbox/pseuds/mymusicalbox
Summary: Before meeting Ash, he had come to America to help Ibe-san with his pictures; the latter was worried about him after the injury, he was a sharp, kind man, and had probably seen through his attitude that something wasn't working in his life. And that's how he gave him his own camera and brought him to America.  Eiji wasn't displeased by the idea, he had always thought photography was an unappreciated kind of art. Ibe-san's pictures looked great, so hey, why couldn't he take some, too?Or: Eiji loves Ash way too much and is blessed with the chance of taking pictures of him.





	The fleeting memory of dawn

A single sentence was enough to start it all, well, more like some thinking out loud.

 

Eiji was pretty much used to spending his days in that tiny apartment which was also used as the gang's hideout. Much to his dismay, he couldn't spend much time with Ash. He was busy most of the time so Eiji got plenty of time to think.

 

Before meeting Ash, he had come to America to help Ibe-san with his pictures; the latter was worried about him after the injury, he was a sharp, kind man, and had probably seen through his attitude that something wasn't working in his life. And that's how he gave him his own camera and brought him to America. Eiji wasn't displeased by the idea, he had always thought photography was an unappreciated kind of art. Ibe-san's pictures looked great, so hey, why couldn't he take some, too?

 

If only it had been that easy. He was now caught up in a disaster that barely left him (or Ash, mostly Ash) a bit of free time, so he hadn't taken any picture yet.

 

Time kept passing by, and one day, he woke up hearing birds chip. He was still half-asleep, but when he saw that Ash's bed was empty, he jumped straight out of his own; that was a pleasant surprise. Ash was up before him, so he couldn't call him a geezer anymore. However, he wondered if Ash had gotten a good night's sleep this time...

 

Almost every night, Eiji kept himself awake, and he witnessed how sometimes, Ash would cry a bit in his sleep. Eiji couldn't bring himself to touch him or to say anything, and next morning, Ash would be the same as always. From the depths of his heart, Eiji knew what Ash did and why he did it, but he really wished he just could comfort him like... _that night._

 

Eiji was prepared to tease Ash about being up so early in the morning, when the first rays of sun slipped through the window.

 

But when he took a few steps closer to Ash, his mind went blank.

 

Ash was half-sitting in the windowsill; one leg was lazily hanging over the wall and the other one was bent; his knee close to his chest. The early sun-rays framed Ash's profile. He looked... stunning, to say the least. His pale skin looked angelic and his hair... oh gosh.

 

That's it. He needed to take a picture of that; and he could, since Ash didn't seem to have realized that Eiji was behind him. That was weird though. Eiji knew that it was almost impossible to catch Ash of guard.

 

Eiji Okumura was lucky, indeed. That one was such a beautiful scene displayed in front of him, and he could capture it. And what's more, he wouldn't hurt Ash, because he wasn't looking at the camera. The Japanese still remembered how... sad Ash looked when he told them “not the face” when asked about the pictures for the magazine.

 

So he went to the nightstand, grabbed hold of his camera, returned to where Ash was, and just when he was about to press the shutter and take the picture... Ash turned to look at him. And that was it. He couldn't take it.

 

“You're _so beautiful.”_ _Did he just say that? Damn. He definitely said that._

 

_Oops._

 

“What?” Ash asked, slightly bewildered.

 

“I said _it's_ beautiful! The landscape! It could make such a great picture, ha ha...” Eiji tried to laugh it off “You can leave and wait for the breakfast if you want, but let me take this shot” Eiji blabbered. He was so embarrassed he could feel himself heating up.

 

  
“Well, take it” Ash declared. But he didn't seem to have the intention to move. He just stood there, still, looking at Eiji. He was being dead serious.

 

“But... are you really?” Eiji asked, doubtfully.

 

  
“Eiji”Ash responded.

 

“You said 'not the face.'”

 

“It's just my profile. And I'm the one who told you to take it, so it's fine.” Ash stated, his voice soft. Eiji had learned to appreciate the shifts in Ash's voice, and maybe he was just being delusional, but did Ash speak quieter and softer when he was with Eiji?

 

“But are you really okay with the camera?” Eiji persuaded.

 

  
“ _Eiji._ I'm telling you that it's okay” Ask answered.

 

Eiji couldn't believe what was happening... he could take a picture of Ash... he had been wanting to for days, maybe since the first time they met... but he knew Ash didn't like cameras, and he didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

 

“Ash. I can tell you're not sure about this. You don't have to look at the camera, okay? Just look outside the way you were doing before.”

 

“Oh, because _it_ was beautiful, right?” _You were beautiful. You are beautiful._

 

“Shut up or I'm pushing you off the window.” Eiji deadpanned with a scowl.

 

“Oh really, are you sure that Mr Photographer could subsist without his model?” Ash countered. _That kid..._

 

After that, Eiji clicked his tongue and focused on his job. He couldn't believe he was so distracted... but who wouldn't be? Ash was letting Eiji take a picture of him... this was a genuine act of trust and there were butterflies over Eiji's stomach and he didn't want this moment to end, because at that moment there existed just the two of them and the camera, which he'd use to create a memory of his time with Ash.

 

It took Eiji a few minutes to finally press the shutter and take the picture, but... the result was _gorgeous._ It looked... _fleeting._ Like it could disappear at any moment; like it could vanish out of nowhere, but that didn't make it less beautiful... It was _the dawn._ Ash's name. And it was as pretty as Ash himself was.

 

When Ash heard the sound of the shutter, he leapt across the window and jumped to the floor of the apartment, then crossed his hands under his neck and asked were his breakfast was.

 

* * *

 

In the apartment of the 59th Avenue, Eiji had a lot to take pictures of. He even had a room for himself and a tripod, because Ash told him to take pictures of all the people who visited Golzine's office, and that's what he did.

 

But those weren't the only pictures he took, and Ash knew that.

 

The blond knew that sometimes, when he was reading or cooking some pasta or walking over the apartment, he would occasionally hear the shutter click, only to see Eiji's smile after he retired the camera from his face.

 

This felt so new to Ash. There was a guy, who was just a photographer's assistant, taking pictures of him, even though those pictures never showed his face head-on. The blond knew that his... that... _Eiji purposefully_ avoided taking pictures of his face and that he'd never take a picture of Ash if the blond told him otherwise, despite wanting to.

 

The day of the windowsill, he heard Eiji say “he was beautiful”. He was usually disgusted and felt nausea whenever someone described him that way, because he knew what that meant, but when Eiji did... everything seemed different. With Eiji, everything was different.

 

And maybe, just maybe, that's why he was scared. He was scared that keeping Eiji in his life was selfish. He was scared that the warmth he felt would be ephemeral. But at the same time, the thought of having physical evidence of his time with Eiji didn't bother him.

 

Maybe this could work out.

 

* * *

It took another sentence to continue it all.

 

“Take a picture of me” Ash casually said.

 

Eiji's natto fell grossly off his mouth. Ash pouted at that, obviously.

 

“What? Why?” _Really? Is this happening?_

 

“I'm asking you to take a picture of me. I'm your model, aren't I?” And Ash's trademark smirk was back.

 

“But why all of a sudden?” Eiji inquired.

 

“Because I want to see how my face looks like in a picture taken by a japanese klutz.”

 

That had to be a dream. Eiji had to be dreaming. Ash's teasing felt too real, but what the hell? Was that really happening?

 

“You want me to take a picture of you.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Of your face.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“While looking at the camera.”

 

“For fuck's sake, Eiji, how many times do I have to tell you?” Ash asked, pretending to be angry.

 

“I'm sorry, let me finish this first and then I'll go grab the camera.”

 

“Sure, finish your natto.”

 

 _Damn..._ It was just a request for a picture, but Eiji felt like if Ash had confessed to him or something among those lines? Talk about wishful thinking, but he wouldn't have minded at all if that had been the case...

 

Without giving it much more thought (because he was starting to feel his face heating up, he was probably already blushing at that point) he quickly finished his breakfast and went to look for the camera. When he returned to the kitchen, Ash was already standing, with a smirk on his face.

 

“Well, are you ready? Or are you going to stare at me for ten minutes before taking the picture as you usually do?”

 

_Oh. So he knows about all the other pictures besides the one on the windowsill._

 

“Could you at least look _normal?”_ Eiji asked the blond. Ash looked kind of stiff. Maybe that wasn't a good idea...

 

“What is 'normal' for you, Mr professional?” But Ash didn't seem to back out of it, either...

 

“I don't know! But don't mock me!” Eiji paused, fidgeting with the camera. “Just... be yourself, okay?” _I like you better that way._

 

Ash hummed and looked at Eiji while he was getting ready.

 

_Okay, Eiji, you're doing this. You're taking a picture of your... of Ash. Of his face. Of his beautiful face. With his consent._

 

Eiji pressed the shutter when Ash opened his mouth to say his name. Talk about good timing (he wasn't going to erase the picture though).

  
“Eiji. Stay here for a second” Ash quickly said only to leave the room for a few minutes.

 

After that he returned with the tripod and set the temporizer for thirty seconds.

 

“I've put this thing to 30 so it will take a picture of us.”

 

And then he put himself next to Eiji. Eiji was trembling.

 

But then Ash put his arm around his waist.

 

And the seconds were passing.

 

And he was blushing but he smiled because he was about to be in a picture.

 

With Ash.

 

And then he heard the noise of the shutter.

 

Ash took the camera out of the tripod and saw the picture. He didn't say anything; instead, he took a look at all the pictures Eiji had taken.

 

 _This isn't ephemeral._ He thought. _Eiji can keep those._ He thought. And then he got tired of thinking.

 

“Eiji” he said.

 

“You take pictures because you want to remember something, right?”

 

“Well, yes? I think? Ibe-san told me that pictures are memories that you choose to capture because, in a way, you find them fascinating; because you want them to last. Because you want... something to remember.” _And I want to remember you. Forever._

 

“How about I give you something... to remember, that isn't a picture?” Ash said as he moved closer to Eiji.

 

Then, he proceeded to frame his... _the person he loved the most's_ face with his hand, as the other one left the camera on the tripod again and held Eiji's.

 

He waited for a response. Eiji was the only person that didn't expect anything from him, Eiji had said he'd be by his side ( ~~forever~~ ), so the least the blond could do was to wait for... some sort of response. He despised people who took profit of others and gave a fuck about consent. He'd wait.

 

But then he felt Eiji squeezing his hand in a tight grip, and his patience evaporated. He closed the distance between them; at first their lips just grazed tentatively. He knew he had taken Eiji's first kiss at the prison and that he had put a ton of tongue in it (well, he had to, for practical purposes) but now... he wanted it to last. Eiji was so dedicated, and he wanted to learn that from him.

 

On Eiji's side, he chose to close his eyes and to slowly bring his hands up, one around Ash's neck and the other on his waist. Their lips were moving in sync and this... this was better than any picture he had ever taken. A few minutes after gentle caresses and touches of lips, he felt something wet probing at his bottom lip, so he opened his mouth for Ash's tongue to meet his. He let Ash guide him in a slow dance he never wanted to end. The back of his mind whispered to him that he wanted physical evidence of this, but... oh damn. What could he do, besides losing himself in the moment?

 

He was enjoying the kiss, he was feeling things he had never felt before, but the need for air was undeniable, and they had to part.

 

 

“You're _so beautiful.”_ Ash whispered against his lips while a sweet smile was on his.

 

 

_So he had heard it, after all._

**Author's Note:**

> Your local bad writer show herself up as she said she would! I love these two so much and after ending the manga and crying a bunch of rivers i promised myself i would write something Garden of light related. However, i have decided not to write something with explicit spoilers so anyone can read this.
> 
> I am planning to write like a "sequel" or some sorts about the pictures in Garden of Light, though.
> 
> As always; my work is self-betaed and I'm not a native, please excuse me for the mistakes. And sorry for the OOC ;;
> 
> I'm @weakeninghope on tumblr, hit me up if you want to scream about Banana Fish!
> 
> Hope you've enjoyed this <3


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